so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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