you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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