I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i need to put some appletini on your dick
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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