And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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