When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
