playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
