I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i want to swaddle you in tequila
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
