Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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