so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
In other news, I just burned my penis
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
