Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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