Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
