Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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