She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
