You're my little dorito
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
