Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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