she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
