Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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