Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
