curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
