My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
