I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
