he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
