What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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