I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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