before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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