Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
