I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
