Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
