I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
