If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Sext me about skeletons
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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