Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
