Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
