Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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