I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
