our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
