i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
