He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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