All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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