I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
