i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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