Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
