I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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