just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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