Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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