When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
