it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
