i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
