How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
