at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
