Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
