It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the condom got lost in my hair
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize