He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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