the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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