She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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