If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
