My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize