He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
