I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
