Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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