How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My orgasm happened in two different decades
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
