I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
