he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just want nice things and good sex
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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