i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
