dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize